by Peter A. Arthur-Smith

“Musk and Trump are well known unpredictable leaders and likely prefer it to be viewed that way.” 

Musk and Trump are far from being the only unpredictable leaders you’re aware of – President Putin of Russia and Xi of China are likely of the same ilk. I’ve come across or worked with several along life’s way. A good percentage of them seem to be pretty successful overall, although one wonders how much more they could’ve accomplished with their various talents without being smitten with narcissism, too? Ultimately, they are extreme leader types on the management-leader spectrum. This is due to having an outsize vision and courage, although are more suspect when it comes to integrity, humility and wisdom.

They often appear to have had bizarre or checkered personal lives as well, where their personal whims or habits constantly throw-off those around them. So often they can be quite generous with people they like or who show devotion to them. On the other hand, they can be quite brutish or dismissive with people they don’t value. In many ways, they can portray that cruel and ruthless persona often shown in movies or plays.

A New York Times, July 2024, article entitled Madame X, went to great lengths to define Musk’s relationship with Linda Yaccario, CEO of his company X (formerly Twitter). He appointed her in June 2023 to be the CEO of X. Article author, Kate Conger, wrote, “Time and again, Ms. Yaccario has faced similar situations, as Mr. Musk is always one whim away from undoing her work.” Conger was amazed that Ms. Yaccario was still there one year later, especially as so many of her friends had encouraged her to part ways with Musk. But then Conger was likely not privy to Musk’s generosity or many moments of charm, as under-scored by her article’s many efforts to besmirch him. Musk and Trump are not favored characters with the Times’ publisher either, who may well fall into the same narcissistic bucket but doesn’t get the same attention. By all accounts, Trump has very similar generosity and charm traits, which are all too often – likely intentionally – overlooked by the media.

So, having worked for more than one person of a similar nature, the question is how can we cope with them? How should we react toward these outlier leaders? One thing we can perhaps start with is to respect their often entrepreneurial genius. Many times they perceive opportunities way before the rest of us and take risks that we would shrink from. They also take on huge challenges that most people would wilt from at the thought and they act decisively when others would probably take a rain check. Perhaps that subconsciously stimulates a form of envy within us, which is exploited by the media?

Also, in view of their somewhat narcissistic behavior, they’re often dismissive of public criticism. Is that because many times they feel the objections of others are based upon jealousy, bias and pettiness? Such critics are often not close enough to them to notice their generosity or highly perceptive decisions. Because their critics don’t give sufficient credence to their attributes, they regard those critics as narrow-minded.

The reality is that we don’t know where their personas came from. Their behavior was set in motion at an early age, through likely neurotic parents and chastened, childhood experiences. They were somewhat odd-balls from the outset, where people around them or classmates tried to sideline them. But they quietly bounced back and proved everyone wrong. Their parents (or one in many instances) were probably hypercritical people, who likely never quite appreciated the quiet genius within their child. In line with their probable high innate achievement index, these quiet geniuses just kept on taking bigger risks and challenges. With some luck, one or two of their insightful gambles paid off handsomely and now their attitude is, “I told you so!”, although they often don’t always express that out loud.

So, when you’re dealing with them, do listen carefully and fully digest their proposals and then, at the right moment, put your feedback into a sandwich. That is, share some of the merits of their pronouncement, then mention your one or two key reservations, and conclude your feedback with other positive thoughts. Don’t worry if there’s no immediate reaction, other than a remark like, “You might be right.”  Let them sleep on it, while you go along with your normal business and routines.

A few days or a month later, they will circle back, take full credit for your proposals, and inform you of their intentions! Don’t worry about not getting any credit, especially as you’re already likely paid handsomely for being part of their inner circle. Just take comfort from the fact that you are part of that circle and that you will be regularly consulted anyway. Mrs. Yaccario probably does this all the time, so she likely doesn’t view herself as a star but only as an executive adviser who can benefit from her master’s occasional genius.

Such unpredictable leaders obviously need to be surrounded by talented and behavior savvy people. You have to be ready to take the rough with the smooth. Be grateful for their generosity and big heart for some things, although be ready for their derision if you miss a beat. Note that their integrity and wisdom can be suspect at times and then decide if that’s something you can live without compromising your own values. With regard to humility, it doesn’t feature much in a narcissist’s playbook, so it’s just something you’ll have to swallow and then be ready for the big leaps to come!

Beware if you’re married to one, because that relationship may often be wild and woolly. It will likely be an irregular relationship, since it’ll be the same wild and inconsistent behavior they experienced from being raised by their parents – or one parent! They therefore find it difficult to enter into a trusting relationship with anyone. If you break any form of that thin trust you have with them, they will drop you like a stone.